So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
