She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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