ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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