Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
