I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is Oprah even human
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
