Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
