I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
