The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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