is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she peed on how many people?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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