spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
