I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Boobs speak an international language.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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