I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
