like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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