Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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