I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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