The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
