it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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