You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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