Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
