i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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