Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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