the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
