my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
