Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
