"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize