i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
