OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
