Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
