problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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