R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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