We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
