then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Dicks are not precious.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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