How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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