I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
