Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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