Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We are all done wearing pants today
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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