I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
