Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
