so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
