Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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