If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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