Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
