You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
