Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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