I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So drunk its hurt
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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