thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
