covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
