Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
