remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
