I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
