I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
