i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
